today is one of those days that i make a cake just to eat the majority of the batter and watch sex in the city
hannah montana says nobody’s perfect, but here i am
Ed Ed and Eddy is a kids cartoon version of Workaholics..
Eddy is Adam, Double D is Ders, Ed is Blake , Kevin is Montez, and jawbreakers are weed
you look beautiful today! is that a new instagram filter you are wearing?
sometimes i feel okay and then i’m like wow that was a really nice 45 seconds
If two vegetarians get in a fight, do they have “beef” or is it tofu or something
why go to school when I can light myself on fire and feel the same way
Dwight Schrute: False, it wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.
Me: Love is in the air!
Dwight Schrute: False. Nitrogen, Oxygen, Argon, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.
Me: All men are created equal.
Dwight Schrute: False. Explain midgets.
Me: Home is where the heart is!
Dwight Schrute: False. The chest cavity is where the heart is.
Again: 50 shades of me fucking up the East Coast!
And again: I just blew off the roof of Olive Garden, free breadsticks bitches!
Reality: Sitting on the couch by yourself eating candy corn in your pajamas watching Halloweentown with your mom
Me: I love it when my microwave tells me my food is ready.